


vampires will never hurt you

by picht



Series: vampires will never hurt you [1]
Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance, The Used
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Biting, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Threesome - M/M/M, Vampire Bites, Vampire Frank Iero, Vampire Gerard Way, Vampires, college student bert mccracken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 14:40:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14673243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/picht/pseuds/picht
Summary: Contrary to what some people in Strahd might think, Bert’s not a fucking idiot. Contrary to whatGerard and Frankmight think, Bert’s not a fucking idiot. Ever since this whole thing started, ever since Gerard and Frank cornered him at the open mic event at his junior college shortly after he decided to go and open his big damn mouth about that picture he’d found in the History of Strahd book that was collecting dust in the back of the library, the picture in which both Gerard and Frank were clearly present, dressed in typical 19th century garb, giving their best vampire smolder--Yeah. Bert has known ever since then, and ever since they had told him how talented of a poet he was, and that they were interested in having him perform at the parties they host for all the town’s leaders up at their old mansion on the hill, that they have had some type of secret agenda as their endgame.He just hadn’t really expected it to be this.//this is what happens when i get tired of bert being the bad guy in mcr fic and decide i have to do EVERYTHING myself





	vampires will never hurt you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ViciousVenin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViciousVenin/gifts).



> so for some backstory. this is set in an au i have going in my head where frank and gerard are rich old vampires who basically run this very small very old town in new jersey (the fictional town of strahd) and bert is this weird college kid who finds a picture of them in the 19th century in an old book in the town library and then takes it upon himself to let everyone in the world know that they're TOTALLY vampires. so frank and gerard hear about this and take it upon themselves to approach him to keep an eye on him and bert, being the big lovable doof that he is, worms his way into their cold, dead hearts. he writes slam poetry about them and they go to all his open mics at the junior college in the next town over and they have a very loving relationship and frank and gerard take good care of bert bc he is a good perfect wonderful amazing guy and he deserves to be taken care of
> 
> there will probably be more of this! if anyone is interested....even if no one is i will probably write more for evan bc he is my handsome muse and he deserves all the fanfiction written for him that he would like. and on that note this IS dedicated to evan whom i would die for; thank you evan for always letting me complain about stupid shit and also always encouraging me and my dumb aus even when everyone else is like "dear lord PLEASE don't encourage him anymore"

Contrary to what some people in Strahd may think, Bert’s not a fucking idiot. Contrary to what _Gerard and Frank_ might think, Bert’s not a fucking idiot. Ever since this whole thing started, ever since Gerard and Frank cornered him at the open mic event at his junior college shortly after he decided to go and open his big damn mouth about that picture he’d found in the History of Strahd book that was collecting dust in the back of the library, the picture in which both Gerard and Frank were clearly present, dressed in typical 19th century garb, giving their best vampire smolder--Yeah. Bert has known ever since then, and ever since they had told him how talented of a poet he was, and that they were interested in having him perform at the parties they host for all the town’s leaders up at their old mansion on the hill, that they have had some type of secret agenda as their endgame.

He just hadn’t really expected it to be this.

“You’re not really still going on about your whole ‘vampire’ conspiracy, are you?” Gerard asks, and somehow gets even closer to Bert where he has him cornered against the wall of their parlor room (and seriously, how do they expect him to believe they’re not centuries old vampires when they still call it a _parlor_ room?). Bert feels Gerard’s thigh pushing its way between his legs, and the hot breath upon his neck every time Frank exhales on the other side of him, and he totally fucking knows what’s going on here. This is the oldest trick in the vampire book, he thinks. They’re trying to seduce him so they can hypnotize him and make him forget all about his mission to expose them.

“You’re not really still trying to convince me I’m wrong, are you?” He giggles right in Gerard’s face, and the look of pure shock mixed with some frustration is all he needs as confirmation that he’s not imagining things.

“You’re… really something, you know that?” Gerard is pulling out all the stops, giving Bert that little smirk of his and talking out of the corner of his mouth. Bert tries to just focus on Gerard’s eyes, because if he even takes a moment to think about the feeling of Gerard’s thigh between his legs or Frank’s breath on his neck as he taps his slender fingers against Bert’s jaw, he might lose it.

“You realize that your weird vampire seduction tricks aren’t working on me, right?” Bert asks, because he figures a direct approach is what will get him out of this situation as fast as possible.

Gerard looks slightly taken aback at this, but it doesn’t seem to deter him too much, rather, makes him more determined. He rubs his thigh against where Bert’s cock has slowly been getting hard in his pants, and says, “It doesn’t seem that way from where I’m standing, Sugar.” The only thing worse than admitting that the vampire seduction tricks are working on Bert would be admitting that they really aren’t, but since he’s kind of in love with both of the centuries old vampires that currently have him backed against a wall, it only makes sense that he’s gonna have a reaction to the current situation.

Thankfully, once Frank finally presses his lips against Bert’s neck, kissing it gently before parting his lips, laving the skin with his tongue before applying suction, Bert loses all ability to think about anything other than the feeling of the shared hands of Gerard and Frank, roving his body, rucking his shirt up, rubbing against his clothed cock, let alone take the time to confess his love. Gerard grinds his own crotch against Bert’s hip while he works on unbuttoning Bert’s pants and, fuck, his dick feels _huge_ through their clothes. When Frank breathes in deep against Bert’s nape and thrusts against his other hip, his dick feels huge, too. Bert is seriously going to die here.

Gerard gets Bert’s pants unbuttoned and unzipped, and is suddenly shoving his hand down them, gripping Bert’s cock firmly and pulling it out of his briefs and undone pants. He rubs his thumb over the head, a dark, angry red and leaking. Gerard collects a bead of precome on his thumb and then holds it up to Bert’s mouth, and what the fuck is Bert supposed to do other than open up and suck it off?

Gerard grins, wide and feral, and says, “Good boy.” He reaches down again, jerking Bert off hard and fast while Frank reaches down and palms Bert’s balls, massaging them as he continues to suck bruises into Bert’s skin. “Isn’t he such a good boy, Frankie? Look at him, throbbing for us. Like fucking putty in our hands, isn’t that right, Bert?” At this point, Bert is barely hanging on, eyes clenched shut and breathing heavily as Gerard and Frank milk him for all he’s worth. He’s way beyond being able to respond with anything comprehensible, but when Gerard digs the nails of his left hand into Bert’s shoulder blade and says, “Isn’t that fucking _right_ , Bert?” He figures he should try to respond with something.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Bert whimpers, baring his neck to Frank’s mouth as he thrusts up into Gerard’s hand.

“You’d let us do anything to you, wouldn’t you, Honey?” Gerard keeps fucking talking, because apparently he wants Bert to die. “Even if we were vampires, you’d be into it, wouldn’t you? Would you let us bite you? Huh?” And, the thing is, _God_ , of _course_ Bert would let them bite him. Either of them! He’d fucking get on his knees and beg them to bite him, but it’s looking like that may not be necessary.

“Can I bite him, Gee?” Frank asks, whining in the back of his throat as he grinds against Bert’s hip. “Please, I wanna fucking taste him so bad.” Bert still has his eyes clenched shut, afraid that if he opens them he’ll wake up and this will all have been a dream, so he doesn’t see Gerard smirk and give a nod of consent, so he’s not expecting the feeling of Frank’s teeth sinking into his neck, puncturing the skin. Bert feels his blood seep out of the wound, and the vibrations of Frank moaning against his neck as it runs hot and heavy over his tongue, and he has just enough time to wonder if they really expect him to not realize they’re vampires if he hadn’t already by this point when Frank is literally sucking his blood, before he comes his fucking brains out.

**Author's Note:**

> so. uh. yeah. there u go


End file.
